Oh, who's he?
by I Think You're Beautiful
Summary: Christian and Syed meet in a different way. Let me know what you think, hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – Okay, so I though I'd try something a little bit different. I wrote this ages ago and it's been sitting in my word document not going anywhere, so I thought if I upload this first chapter now it'll force me to write the next one quicker! Let me know what you think, I'm a little nervous about it if I'm honest! Hope you enjoy lovelies x **

I sit there with my sister, listening to her going on and on about Ian. Honestly, I wonder why she ever married him. So I nod in all the right places, adding 'mm's' and 'aah's' where necessary and desperately try and think of a way I'm going to escape when her friend turns up. We're sat in fargo's waiting for Zainab to arrive. When I first met Zainab she wasn't all too comfortable with my sexuality. It took a while, but now she's civil. She and Jane are friends, but I honestly can't figure out why. They constantly fight and bicker about pointless things. I really don't get women.

Jane's looking at me waiting for something. I realise she's asked me a question I wasn't listening too. Oops.

"Sorry?" I ask. She rolls her eyes repeating the question.

"I said what are you going to have for lunch? Zainab will be here soon so you better think quick."

"Er, Janey babe… would you mind if I head off in a bit?"

She shoots me a disapproving look. I think quick on my feet, "it's just that I'm meant to be meeting someone later." She just looks at me, I can't quite make out her expression but she turns her head and starts waving.

"Zainab! Over here." She calls, beckoning with her hand for her to come and join us. My eyes quickly snap to the man standing next to her. Average height, dark curly hair that frames his sculpted face, a dark layer of stubble covering his jaw, and his eyes – even from this distance – are the chocolatiest shade of brown I think I've ever seen.

"Who's that?" I ask Jane, and his brown eyes meet my gaze; it's warm and friendly.

"That's Syed. Zainab's son." She states casually.

"You never told me they had a son." I murmur quickly but they've reached our table now, and Jane's got up to greet Zainab. He comes over to me, I stand up.

"Syed." He reaches his hand out and I take it. His warm touch sends a shiver through me and our eyes find each other's.

"Christian." I say, far more confidently than I feel. I realise I'm still holding his hand and I let it go. His hand falls from my grasp, brushing his warm skin over mine. Suddenly I don't want to leave quite so quickly.

We sit down at the table and he grabs a menu whilst I sip at my drink to give me something to do. The table isn't the biggest in the world and with him sitting opposite me I pull my legs back so as they don't touch his.

"What do you think, Christian?" Zainab asks me, leaning over the table whispering loudly. "You know, Bradley killing himself and what. Straight after Archie's death! More than a little suspicious if you ask me. You know, I said to Mas…"

I stop listening and my eyes reach Syed's, he gives me an apologetic look for the behaviour of his mother. I smile back. Zainab's no longer interested in my answer and she's back to talking to Jane again. I look back to Syed and roll my eyes. He laughs. What a gorgeous laugh he has, his whole face brightening up. I wish he'd say something, I want to hear his voice.

Suddenly without warning, Jane and Zainab stand up and make excuses to go to the 'Ladies room', asking us to order for them. I feel my heart quicken slightly at the thought of being alone with this Syed bloke. Jane winks at me over her shoulder as they walk away giggling over something.

We pick some food off the menu. I chose the first thing I see, pasta with some sort of cheese sauce- I'm sure Jane will like it- and let my eyes look up at him while he orders. He makes this cute little concentration face as he decides what to pick, a frown forming above his eyes. I'm caught momentarily off guard as his gaze flicks up to mine. I quickly think of something to say but we're interrupted by the waiter.

"Are you ready to order?" he asks. We tell him what we want, asking for more drinks for them as well, and he takes the menu's from us with a smile a bit too friendly for my liking to Syed, but I realise smugly that Syed's too busy looking at me. The waiter huffs off impatiently.

"So."

"So." I repeat back stupidly. His eyes smile at me.

"Sorry about my mum. She can be a little insensitive at the best of times."

"It's alright, I've had worse."

He drops his head slightly and looks up at me through his lashes, a beautiful smile on his face. My God he's to die for. What I wouldn't do to just clear the table with one swipe, lift him on to it and fuck him like crazy.

"So how long have you lived in Walford, then?" he asks, sparking polite conversation. It's hard to produce coherent words when he's looking at me like that. Seriously Christian, pull yourself together.

"A couple of years now, it's not such a bad place, if you discount the murders and suicides." I joke, and he laughs. "What about you? Are you down for a visit? I've not seen you around here before." I wouldn't forget a pretty face like his.

"I've just bought a flat here actually. Looking to start afresh after university."

"How old are you?" I ask suddenly, I'm embarrassed at how rude it was. He just smiles even more.

"Twenty four. And you?" his cheeky expression is adorable.

"Thirty… seven." I admit, scrunching my face. "an oldy, I know."

"Not old. You don't look it. I'd of said Thirty at most!" Oh he's a charmer. I flash him a smile.

"Thanks."

He leans forward on the table and looks at me with those big brown eyes. His gaze drags over my face to my chest, and then to my arms. Bingo! We have a gay.

"Do you want to get away from here?" He asks, and I can't believe what I'm hearing. "I just don't think I can stand any longer with those two. No offence." He adds with that charming smile. None taken!

"Yes please." I say, and he reaches out his hand and for a crazy moment I think he wants me to take it, but instead he asks for a pen. I reach for my pockets and realise I don't have one.

"Behind your ear." He tells me, and to my embarrassment I realise I'd left it there this morning. Bloody hell, Jane could've told me.

"Always good to be prepared." He jokes. I put it in his hand, leaving it there a little bit longer than normal. His warm touch is addictive.

He starts to scribble a note on a napkin he grabbed from the table behind us, proof reads it, then hands the pen back to me.

"There." He says, standing up. I get to my feet as well. "Well come on then, let's run for it!" his excited eyes glisten and I can't help but grin as we quickly dash out of the restaurant.

"What did you write?" I ask him as we hit the fresh air outside and I watch him close his eyes and breathe deeply, before looking back at me.

"That you were chucking up so I'm taking you home." He says, his face unreadable.

"But-"

"I'm joking! I just said you were going to take me for a tour around Walford."

I laugh with him and roll my eyes in a mock disapproving way.

"Well you asked for a tour, so a tour is what you're gonna get!"

"Christian, really? Can't we do something _a little_ more exciting?"

My name, he said my name. It sounds gorgeous the way he says it. Chris-t-ian.. Christian, _Chr-ist-ian_. I mentally shake myself.

"Are you saying I wouldn't make a good tour guide, Syed? I'm mortally offended."

He opens his mouth to reply but is cut off by a huge crack of thunder overhead. It makes us both jump. We look up at the sky and several big drops of rain splat on our faces, gradually becoming more frequent. His eyes reach mine and we share a moment of half panic, half amusement. With another loud crack, the heavens open and it's pouring down like never before.

Out of instinct, I grab Syed's warm hand in mine and hold it tight before leading him in the direction of my flat. We start off at a quick walk, but as the rain gets heavier we brake into a run.

"That's the bookies.." I shout over the heavy rain, and he laughs again. "and that's the fish and chip shop over there," I point, "I live just above it." A few seconds later we reach the blue door to my flat, but we're soaked to the skin. I reach in my pocket for my keys and hastily unlock the door, pulling Syed into the shelter. He stands against the wall, head leant back, eyes closed and panting. I've never seen anything sexier in my life.

"We better get dry…" I tell him, and he nods his head following me up the stairs. I can't tell if it's just me who's sensing the sexual atmosphere. I open the door and let him in. He looks around my flat.

"Nice place!" He comments.

"Thanks." It's hard to concentrate when his green shirt is soaked through and clinging to the golden, toned skin of his abdomen. I notice him studying my shirt too and can't hide my smirk.

"Do you want a drink?" I ask, and the second it comes out of my mouth I realise how stupid it is. We're both standing here soaked to the skin and I ask him if he wants a drink.

He laughs that beautiful laugh again. I don't know how much longer I can wait before I kiss those dark, soft lips…

"Do you mind if I get dried up first?" he asks. What is wrong with me? He's only a boy for god's sake.

"Of course! Sorry. There's a towel in the bathroom and I've got spare clothes." I go to my drawers and pick out some old grey tracksuit bottoms which don't fit me anymore but would fit him, and my extremely tight fitted blue t-shirt. He comes and stands next to me and takes the clothes with a smile.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." I steady my breathing. "Bathroom's just through there." I point.

As he walks in and shuts the door I look around hurriedly for some clothes. I grab a towel fresh from the airing cupboard and dry myself off before pulling on some Jeans and white vest with a blue shirt hanging open over that. I fix my hair in the mirror and take a mint from the box on my bedside. Just as I'm finished Syed emerges from the bathroom.

Fuck… me.

I can't help but drag my eyes over the beauty before me, savouring every last bit of this image and storing it in my mind for later. The blue tee complements his skin tone, and is a perfect fit for him. The tracksuits fit snugly around his hips.

"Thanks for the clothes."

"No problem. They fit okay then?" Understatement of the century.

"Yeah, they fit fine."

I notice he's dried his hair and it flops deliciously around his face. I clench my fists at my side to stop myself from jumping him. For the first time since I met him he looks nervous. I can't help but smile at him.

"Sit yourself down, I'll get us a drink. Tea, coffee?"

"Tea, please. Milk, no sugar." Just the way I like it. He makes his way to my cream coloured sofa and flops down, and a few minutes later I join him, two teas in my hands. I give him his and he smiles as he takes it from me. "Thanks." He murmurs before taking a sip. His throat muscles contract.. and relax… my God he looks sexy when he drinks. He looks at me through those lashes again and I just can't stop myself. I take the tea from his hand and place it along with mine on the coffee table. Breathing deeply I turn back to him. I can't believe I'm actually nervous, it's like I'm a school kid all over again.

He doesn't move a fraction from where he is, just stays looking at me with those big brown eyes. I edge closer to him, feeling the warmth radiate from his body. I just want to touch him, hold him, lick him all over until he can't take any more. I want to feel him and I want him to feel me. Those hands, I want them running over my tensed muscles as I bring us both to a hot, sensual climax…

"What are you thinking?" he suddenly asks me and I feel the colour flood to my face. "You looked completely out of it for a moment!" he laughs but I hear the nervousness in it.

"You really want to know what I'm thinking?" I murmur, my voice dripping with lust. Either he choses to ignore it or is oblivious.

"Yeah, I do."

I lean forward, so painfully slowly, breathing in his heady scent and he closes his eyes, his soft lips parting like he's expecting what's coming next. Our noses touch and his breath hitches as my hand makes its way teasingly up his leg. Closing my eyes, I close the gap between us, pressing my aching lips to the warmth of his mouth, capturing his top lip in-between mine..


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I know it's been a while since I updated, you've probably all forgotten the story by now! I've been fiddling with this chapter for ages and I just can't get it right, so apologies for the rubbishness of this. But I've got some better future stuff planned. Thank you so much for all the reviews, I love you lot so much, and if anyone has any requests or ideas feel free to message me. x**

The warmth of his mouth slots and slides against mine, my unashamed desire for him causes a wanton moan to escape my lips. I run a hand up his neck to cup his face, my thumb circling the skin behind his ear. I practically feel his heart skip several beats at that touch, so I do it again, and again, and again… I've got him trapped against my sofa, and I make to push him down, but the gentle push of a warm hand on my chest and all too quickly his lips have left mine.

"What's wrong?" I whisper, taking his bottom lip between my teeth in a desperate attempt to bring us back in the moment.

"Christian.." he shakes his head, using the remaining strength in him to push me away. "We can't do this," He says, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why not..?" panic starts to build inside me, it was going so well.. he's so fucking gorgeous! I rack my brain. "You are gay. Aren't you..?"

"Yes," he almost laughs, "yeah I am. But," the hesitation hangs in the air, "I'm also very religious, Christian."

"Oh… sorry, what?" My face must look a picture, I'm so confused.

"Christian, what is my mother."

"A… woman?"

He laughs that gorgeous laugh again.

"Well yeah, but that wasn't quite what I was looking for!"

"Syed, I don't understand what you're trying to… Oh."

_I get it._

"Muslim.."

He nods.

"But, how can you be gay and be a Muslim?" I ask, surely that's breaking so many rules?

"It hasn't been easy, you know." He says defensively, and he looks upset now, oh God.. I don't want him upset.

"I'm sorry," I bring my hand up to his face and stroke my fingers through his soft, thick hair, "I'm an insensitive prick at the best of times."

"It's alright.." his eyes flutter shut at my touch, but I'm not going to make this any worse for him. Slowly I pull away, giving us both some space to breathe. I didn't realise how tangled our bodies were, I unhook my leg from around his and pull out my arm from around his back. I miss his warm touch already. Trying my best to behave with the tight bulge in my trousers, I rest a comforting hand on his arm.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"There's nothing much to talk about," he tells me with a sigh, "My parents found out when I was 17, Mum's only just started talking to me, and Dad... well, I haven't really spoken to him since."

"Fuck... Syed I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

The sadness etched on his beautiful face pulls something inside me; I place my hand on his, the touch of his bare skin on mine shooting heat through me, licking flames of tight desire somewhere within. Hesitantly, his fingers curl around mine as he welcomes what little comfort I can give him.

"Listen, we don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'm sorry for being so stupid."

"No, it's not your fault. I just.. I'm not used to this sort of thing, and I need some time to get to know you before... if anything else happens."

He wants to get to know me? Blimey, I haven't heard that in a while. It's... nice_._

"That's fine, not a problem." I tell him with a reassuring smile. I want him to know I can be a good person, fun to be around. I'm not _completely_ sex obsessed...

"Thanks." He breathes a huge sigh of relief, like a heavy weight has been lifted from him, and that glint of cheekiness returns to his gorgeous eyes. "Thank you again for the clothes!"

"Not a problem. They look really good on you."

He looks down and shakes his head, embarrassed.

"You're gorgeous, Syed." Carefully, I cup his face with my hand, stroking the prickly stubble beneath my fingertips.

"Christian.."

"Yeah?"

There's a momentary pause where he looks like he's deciding what to say next, his eyes flickering as they look into mine.

"I've.. got to go." He looks sad again. I've crossed the line. I make to quickly remove my hand but he holds it there with his own, stroking gently with his thumb. "Not because I want to, but because I have to. Do you understand?"

No.

"Yes." I don't want him to go.

"I like you, I really do." And he stands up, making his way silently to the bathroom to gather his things. When he reappears he looks calmer, happy; the speed at which his emotions change are hard for me to keep up with. I pull myself up off the sofa and walk over to him.

"When can I see you again?"

"Oh.." his face forms into this sad little frown that I just want to kiss better. "Look, Christian.. I really don't think you know what you're getting yourself in to.." he tells me, holding his breath. What, he seriously thinks he can put me off just like that?

"Sy," oh, I like that. Sy Sy _Sy_... "listen. I like you, okay? And believe me, it's not every day I come across someone who I actually want to spend _time_ with, and be around." I take a deep breath. "I think," and step towards him, "that if you let yourself trust me, we could have so much fun together."

He looks up at me, big brown puppy eyes lost and confused.

"Christian.. I" he falters, "I can't just _trust_-"

"I know, I know," I soothe, "But you can let yourself try."

"But I'm not worth the-" My finger is pressed against his lips in an attempt to quiet him.

"Just shut up and give me your number."

He looks down, a small smile playing on his lips. I've got him.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Hello lovelies. So here's my latest update, I really hope you like it! If it wasn't for all your amazing comments I wouldn't have the inspiration to keep writing this. All of you are amazing, and thank you so much for the lovely comments x **

It's been two days. Impatiently I tap my fingers against the work surface as I wait for the kettle to boil. Two whole days. Steam starts to rise from the top and I can hear the water bubbling. I wonder what he's doing right now. The kettle flicks itself off and I pour steaming hot water into a navy blue mug. He drank from that mug only two days ago.

"agh! Stop thinking about him!"

Stirring the mug of tea a little too viciously, hot water splashes and scolds my skin.

"ffffffffffffffffffudge." I wave my hand up and down before coving the burn with my mouth in some vague attempt to soothe the pain.

"_That's a nasty burn. Do you want me to kiss it better?"_

A flash of my dream from last night is brought to the forefront of my mind. He offered to kiss me better. I wish he was here to kiss me better right now.

There's a vibration and a bleep as my phone goes off... Rushing over to the table, I pick it up and hastily check the screen.

'_1 new message – Syed'_

"Oh God.."

Taking several deep breaths, I open the message.

'_Got your clothes. When can I drop them round? S'_

Staring at the screen I contemplate what to do. Should I phone him? No.. too desperate. Oh but his voice, I miss that voice. Before I can stop myself I've pressed 'dial'. It's ringing.

Still ringing..

"Hello?" His velvety voice rings through.

Wow, I've missed him.

"Hiya."

"Did you get my message?"

"Yeah, just now." Steady breaths, in, out... "How are you?"

"Not brilliant actually." He sighs.

Snapping my head up I listen to his heavy breath, anxiously awaiting what was coming next.

"What's wrong?"

"Well.. I found out today that I've been turned down for the two jobs I went for."

"Oh.." I settle down on to the sofa, "Syed I'm sorry." And I really am sorry, but I can't stop myself from smiling at the gorgeous sound of his voice.

"It's fine. Never mind, eh." The sigh on the other end of the line tells me it's anything but fine.

"Why don't you come round, I can try and cheer you up?"

I smile at the soft sound of his laugh, twiddling absent-mindedly at a stray string hanging from the cushion.

"I'd like that."

He'd like that. _Yeah_ baby.

"Good."

"What time?" he asks.

"Now."

"Ohh... okay then." He teases. I smile.

"Oh and bring a coat."

"Why?"

"Cos I'm taking you out somewhere."

"Somewhere nice?" he plays.

"You'll just have to wait and see."

x

Gathering up my keys and putting on my coat I wait patiently on the edge of the sofa. It's been 43 minutes since we were talking on the phone so he should be here soon. I wander into the bathroom to check myself in the mirror once more. Hair's perfect, arms are on show, chest looks good, teeth are pearly white. How could anyone resist?

There's a knock at the door. Fuck.

With my heart rate rapidly increasing, I walk over and pull open the door. On the other side, he's standing there, tight fitting grey t-shirt, a black leather jacket, and hugging-in-all-the-right-places jeans. _Ding dong_.

"I've got your clothes," he says politely with a shy smile, holding up my folded tracksuit bottoms and top. God I want to push him up against the wall, rip off his shirt, lick him all over, hold his burning hot, writhing, sweaty body in my arms as I make him come so hard he'll pass out...

"Thanks." I mutter, scratching the back of my neck, trying desperately to calm myself down.

"So where are you taking me then?" he asks nervously, I can see he's anxious.

Taking back my clothes I drop them onto the table, grab my coat from the hanger and close the door behind us, locking up with a click.

"This nice little restaurant I know. Not that far to walk."

We walk down the stairs together.

"Sounds nice."

"It is. I'm sorry you had a rubbish day."

"Yeah," he nods glumly.

"There'll be other jobs ya know. They're stupid for not taking you." I give him a friendly nudge. A small smile appears on his face.

Heading out into the cold winter night's air I close the door behind us. Cheerfully, I turn to him.

"So, tell me about yourself."

"About me? Well, there's not much to tell really..."

"Don't be stupid. I want to know everything. Even all the small things, like your favourite food, favourite colour, ya know."

"Er, well," he sticks his hands in his pockets as we walk, "I love my mum's cooking – she's fantastic – and my favourite colour is green, but sometime's blue." He looks at me as if to ask if that's enough.

"Keep going."

"I really like reading. I'm not very organised but I try to be. I hate shopping..." he pulls this cute little face, "spiders weird me out, and I can't ride a bike."

"You can't?"

"Nope."

"And what about your religion?" I ask, noticing the way his shoulders tense as I say this.

"What about it?"

"You're Muslim?"

"Yeah."

I nod for him to continue.

"I go to Mosque whenever I can, try and be a 'good boy'. I pray every day, asking for forgiveness-"

"Forgiveness for what?"

"For being... you know." He looks to the floor, clearly uncomfortable. I open my mouth to respond but he cuts me off. "Can we talk about something else please..?" he looks up at me, eyes glittering in the darkness. He's not angry, he's just not ready to talk about that yet. I understand.

"Course we can."

Fiddling with his fingers he walks along beside me. He lets his arm fall to the side and his hand brushes mine. My stomach dips in a way it never has done before; it catches me off guard, and before I know what I'm doing his hand is in mine, our fingers tightly entwined. I look at him and he's looking straight ahead, though I'm sure he's biting back a smile.

Thankful for the cold breeze against my face, I let it cool me down, the sudden flush of heat surprising me.

His hand feels incredible in mine, so warm and perfect. I don't remember the last time I held a man's hand. I don't remember the last time I felt something other than lust for a man.

"How far away is the restaurant?" he asks normally, breaking my reverie.

"Not far."

"Good," he says, "I'm starving!"

"You are?"

"Only a little bit, I can wait.." he mutters looking at the floor, embarrassed. My heart thumps faster and faster in my chest. I want to take him right here, in the middle of the street. Right now. I don't care, I just want him now!

"It's literally just around the corner here, look.." I say, taking him around the bend of the pavement and stopping in my tracks. "Oh.."

"Shit.." he murmurs, and we look straight ahead at the flashing lights of the police car and ambulance right outside the restaurant. I turn to him.

"That wasn't part of the plan." I tell him, "Honest."

"It's okay-"

"No it's not. I wanted to take you there."

"Well you'll just have to take me another night then, won't you?" He says, eyes twinkling up at me.

Another night? He wants to go out with me again after this? Get in there!

"Okay." I grin, my mood much improved. "Crap.. you're really hungry though, aren't you?"

"Not really.." he lies.

"Would you be offended if I buy you a bag of chips?"

"I would love some chips." Beaming up at me, he pulls my hand, leading me back to the path we'd just taken. "Come on then, where's the nearest chippy?"

...

We walk along the street together, walking in the middle of a quiet road looking up at the cloudless sky. The stars are all out and it's beautiful. He sticks the bag in front of my face, offering me the last chip.

"No, you have it." I say, feeling rather full.

"I think I'm going to explode.." he moans, holding his stomach.

"Well you did just eat nearly two and a half bags of chips."

"Only cos you made me!"

"You said you were hungry! I didn't want you to starve." Reaching out a hand, I place it on his stomach, gently rubbing.

He shakes his head, laughing at me.

"What?" I ask, and he bites back more laughter. "Stop laughing at me!" I whine, and while I have my mouth open he shoves in the last chip forcing me to shut up. Rolling my eyes I chew slowly, unimpressed.

"You're really annoying." I say once I've finished the chip. His response is just to smile innocently back at me.

There's a loud bang above us and we both jump simultaneously. A firework goes off, and then another one, it's blue and green sparkle lighting up the dark sky. More gold glitter fills the sky and we stare up at the fireworks. We stand there for a short while until it goes quiet again. Syed turns to me, his eyes sad.

"I should probably go home soon." He says, looking disappointed.

"Why..?"

He moves a little closer.

"Not because I want to, but because I've got a job interview tomorrow that I should probably go and prepare for.."

"Oh, okay. Yeah that's fine." I plaster on a fake smile, not wanting our night to be over yet. He walks back in the direction of his flat and I follow.

x

The gentle breeze sends a lock of his hair out of place; I brush it from his eyes. He stands close to me, so close I can feel the heat emitting from him, yet I know I can't push him; I respect him too much for that. Cupping his face with my hand, his shy eyes search for the floor. I carefully tilt his head upward, creating eye contact between us.

"Did you have fun tonight?" I ask, my voice incredibly husky.

"I did." He smiles. So carefree, as though he hasn't smiled like that in too long.

"Well I'm glad. Cos I had fun too."

His chocolate gaze warms me, and something inside builds up almost to breaking point. Lust pools tightly in my groin.

"What's up?" he asks, eyes concerned. I almost laugh at the irony of his question. I have to control myself. I think he can see the hunger in my eyes.. he moves away from me.

"No.." My command is a whisper and I place a hand on his back, pulling him to me. I inhale deeply, breathing in his warm scent. Just having him this close, it's painful.

"Christian-"

"I know. I won't pounce on you, promise." I tease.

He nods and I pull back slightly, taking in the beautiful boy standing so close to me. Those big brown orbs, that chiselled jaw coated in a fine layer of stubble that I just want to lick all over...

And his lips are on mine. For one magical second, his soft supple lips press warmth to my mouth, his soft hair brushing against my face in the breeze. And then he is gone, leaving my lips tingling with delight. His eyes smile at me as the moonlight dances off his golden skin.

"When can I see you again?" he says, pressing his lips together.

"Tomorrow?" I ask, still in a daze.

"Tomorrow sounds perfect."

"I'll call you, okay?"

He nods, and with one last lingering look and the touch of his fingers against mine, he disappears through his front door.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Okay, I'm really sorry for the lateness of this update! This chapter isn't my ****best, and I've changed it so many times I just had to post it so I can move on writing the next part! Hope you enjoy. Thank you for all your lovely comments so far, you lovely lot. x**

"Oi.. you listening to me?"

The sternness of Jane's voice breaks my happy daydream; it disappears like a puff of smoke.

"Of course."

"What did I just say?" she challenges.

Shoot, I don't actually know. I would guess something about Ian and the kids..

"Ian."

"Sorry?"

"You were talking about Ian."

"No I wasn't."

Damn it.

"Sorry sis..."

"What's with you today? You're in a world of your own." She leans forwards and places a hand on my knee, "Are you alright? You seem very distracted.."

Smiling, I place a hand on hers, looking into her worried eyes.

"I'm fine, Jane. Really, I'm perfect! More than that. I'm..." I wave my hands in the air trying to find the words, instead settling for a dreamy sigh.

"Oh my God.." she exclaims, "is it a man?"

Grabbing my drink off the table I carefully avoid eye contact with her.

"Might be."

"Is it Syed?"

I choke a little, my heart skipping a beat at the mere mention of his name.

"How do you know it's him?"

"Me and Zainab have been talking." She mentions casually, flicking some coloured polish off her nail.

"You and Zainab? _What_?"

"Well what else are we going to talk about? It's my baby brother and her son!"

I cringe.

"What?" she asks.

"That makes the age gap sound way worse."

"Oh who cares! Tell me _aaall_ about him!"

I glare at her for a while before giving in.

"He's..." I spend a few seconds deciding on what best word to describe him. "... gorgeous." I say with a smile.

"Ohh!" Jane claps her hands together excitedly, "Have you slept with him yet?"

"What! What sort of a question is that?"

"I'm curious. Have you?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I haven't."

"Thank God," she says, "Zainab would go _mental_."

"I didn't think he would have even told her about me..." I mumble, dazed.

"Oh yeah. He tells her quite a lot you know."

"Like what?" I pry, intrigued. She bites on her lower lip like a child, holding back a smirk. "Jane.. tell me!"

"Well... he _may_ or may not have mentioned how much he likes you."

My heart thumps loudly.

"How much does he like me?"

"Now that would be telling."

"Tell me now or-" I stop as my phone vibrates in my pocket. Without hesitation I reach in and take it out. The screen flashes up, and my heart jumps.

_1 new message - Syed_

"Is that him?" she asks, peering round to look at my phone.

"Oi, eyes off." I bring my phone closer to my chest so she can't see and open the message.

'_You still on for tonight? S'_

Smiling, I write my reply, blocking out the chorus of 'what does it say?'s from Jane.

'_Of course. My sister's nagging me. I need to escape!'_

"Did you reply?"

"Yes Jane, I replied.." Rolling my eyes, I can't help but laugh at her excitement.

"I can't believe it... My baby brother's all grown up."

"Shut up."

My phone vibrates again. That was fast..!

'_I'm at home right now. Fancy joining me?' _

Smirking, I slip my phone in my pocket and peck Jane on the cheek.

"Laters sis."

"Oi! You can't just leave!" she grabs my wrist as I make to escape.

"Ohh please let me go? I miss him." I pull a sad face which works a treat as she releases me from her grip.

"Alright, alright. But it looks like you'll have to get past her first..." She points behind me and I turn on my heel to face a rather grouchy looking Zainab.

"Hi.."

"Hello."

...

Climbing the stairs two at a time I reach the top and knock on the door to his flat. It's been too long since I've seen that beautiful face of his. I crave him. Every second I'm not with him I literally ache for his company. I don't ever remember being this _pathetic_ over a guy, but with Syed it's different. So different.

Footsteps grow louder and the door clicks open, revealing that _oh so beautiful_ face of his. He greets me with a gorgeous smile that lights up his eyes.

"Hey." He says, quietly. Sometimes I laugh at how different we are; me being ridiculously loud and energetic and him being so calm and composed.

"Hello!" bouncing inside the flat I peck him on the cheek, lingering a little longer just to smell that warm, alluring scent of him. "How're you?"

"I'm great, thanks."

"Nice place.." Looking around the flat I notice he's not quite as obsessed with cleaning as I am, yet he's not exactly messy either. His place isn't small. There're a lot of books too. He must read a lot.

"Do you read a lot?"

"Yeah, this and that, you know... Do you want a coffee or something."

Turning on my heel I turn to face him. Something's not right, I can tell by the tone of his voice.

"Are you okay...?"

He nods, wordlessly. Carefully I look into his eyes.

"Syed, what's wrong?" He's silent, staring avidly at the floor. "...Do you want me to go?"

"No, don't leave.." the words come out quickly and he looks suitably embarrassed.

"Hey..." Stepping towards him I place a hand on his arm, "you can tell me ya know. Whatever it is. Maybe I can help?"

A small frown line appears between his eyes - which is really rather adorable actually – while he contemplates the decision. His mouth opens briefly, before closing again. Clearly troubled, he fiddles with the sleeve of his jacket.

A hand reaches up to his chin and I tilt his head to meet his gaze. Stepping closer, our bodies touch and I revel in the warmth of his skin.

"Whatever it is it'll be alright, yeah?"

His unsure nod doesn't convince me that he believes me, so I do the only thing my body is screaming at me to do, I kiss him. Gently, just a little bit, enough for him to know that I care, and I do. I really do. His lips feel so soft and warm against mine, he's impossible to resist..

What I want to know is, who or what upset him? The thought of someone hurting him makes my insides tighten. Who could possibly want to hurt Syed?

Reluctant lips break apart and his head falls to my neck, I pull him close, breathing in that glorious mouth-watering scent. Fingers curl into the back of my jacket as he grips tight. He doesn't seem to want to move, something I find quite unusual. I don't think he's a very touchy-feely person, though I suppose when you need a hug, you just need a hug.

"My Dad..." he mumbles after a few long seconds, bringing me back into the moment. "I saw him today and he looked at me... he looked at me as if I was dirt, Christian. Like I was the most disgusting thing in the world..."

"Oh hey..." I hold him tighter, not really sure what to say."I'm sure he doesn't think that, he's your Dad! He... he loves you..." Soothing hands rub his back.

"..but I am though, I really am."

I push him back a little to meet his gaze, the usual light chocolate brown eyes darkened, brimming with unshed tears of frustration and grief.

"Don't you _dare_ say that about yourself. You are _gorgeous_."

Unsure eyes stare back at me.

"I've only known you a little while and I can already tell that you're..." Words fail me. "You're lovely." My cheeks grow a little warm.

"But it's not right though, is it? I know it's not right! So why can't I do anything to stop it...?"

I take in the vulnerable man standing in front of me. The poor boy. He truly believes that of himself. Of us. I take his hands in mine.

"What is disgusting, Sy?"

Staring at the ground, he refuses to meet my gaze, yet doesn't let go of my hands.

"...Two men... it's wrong."

"Why is it so wrong?"

"It's against God's will."

"But..." I don't know what to say, I really don't.

"I shouldn't want to do what I want to do.. with you..." he confesses quietly. I smile slightly, bless this poor boy.

"That's your natural feelings; you can't do anything to stop that."

"I can try."

A sigh escapes me.

"I thought you were okay with all of this." I squeeze his hands.

"I thought I was too..."

"Look, this whole thing with your dad has just shaken you a little. Your mum's alright with you though, isn't she."

"Only just."

"Well that's better than nothing. You know I bumped into her earlier and she asked how it was going."

He looks up.

"She did? What did you say?"

"Well, she more threatened me to look after you or else I'd 'not be able to walk straight' for the rest of my days."

"Oh god... I'm so sorry!"

I can't help but chuckle.

"It's fine, nice to know that she cares though, eh."

"Yeah..." he says with a sigh. Poor thing looks exhausted. "Christian, I'm so sorry about all of this, I mean I barely even know you and I'm dumping all this on you when you could do without it and I knew this was a bad idea to begin with, me being so different to you and-"

I place a finger on his lips.

"Syed, shut up. I don't care. All I care about is that you're okay and you're _happy_." His eyes flutter shut and we stand there quietly for a few moments. "Just try and forget about today, focus on how well you were doing before that." He looks at me, eyes ever so slightly lighter.

"We were going to go out, weren't we." He sighs.

"We can do it another night. I think you need to relax for a bit, take some time out."

"You're not going, are you?"

"Do you want me to?" nervously, I chew my lip.

"No."

I study his expression.

"...Well then looks like you're lumped with me!"

"Okay." He says with a small smile. A genuine, gorgeous smile. I run a hand through his untamed locks, tucking a stubborn strand behind his ear.

"What d'you wanna do then?" I break the tension with a question. "We could be really fat and order take-away or something. Fancy stuffing your face full of crap?"

"Hm," he contemplates the decision, "that does sound rather appealing."

"That's the spirit!"

"I'll put the kettle on. Do you want a coffee or something...?"

"Yeah, I'd love one thanks."

With a tired smile he turns and walks to the kitchen to make Coffee while I take off my shoes and hang up my coat. I watch him for a little while and tell myself something very important. _He's vulnera__ble, and as much as you want it to happen it won't, so don't you dare try anything on with him_.

"Do you take sugar?" he asks as the kettle boils, spooning coffee granules into a mug and stirring in the hot water.

"Two... and a half." He shoots me a mock disapproving look through those long lashes. "What?" I ask, looking down at the ground in disappointment with myself. "Don't judge me. How many do you have?"

"None." He says proudly, giving the coffee one final stir before handing over the steaming mug to me.

"Thanks." I murmur into the rim of the mug just before I take a sip, the hot liquid pouring down my throat and warming my stomach. "Mmm."

"Good?" he asks.

"Very."

Tired eyes staring into the distance don't go unnoticed by me, God knows how he's feeling, I just wish I could stop him from feeling so down.

"So what are we ordering then?" he asks eventually, brown gaze meeting mine through unruly hair, blue shirt clinging to his perfectly flat torso, showing off those muscular golden brown arms.

"I..." What, what do I want? I want _him_. "..fancy you so badly." I say with a sigh, leaning back against the fridge door, bottom lip gripped between my teeth. I'm aware of how stupid that was, but I just don't care. His response is half embarrassed, half amused, his face beautifully flushed.

"Well if it helps.. I sort of fancy you too..!"

"Always good to know." Smiling at him, I hold out my hand. Hesitantly he takes a hold of it with his, questioning me with his eyes. "You going to show me around?" I ask.

"There's not much to see..."

"Show me anyway."

"Alright... but it's not that interesting."

Placing our coffee on the work surface, our fingers weave together and he leads me to a short hallway. It shouldn't be _this_ exciting to hold someone's hand; however my stomach disagrees, flipping unexpectedly every few seconds. Get a grip, Christian.

"This is... the hallway."

"Veeery nice."

Syed laughs, playing along.

"Glad you like it, not much space though."

"Hm, bummer."

"And this... is my bedroom."

We walk into a well sized room with cream coloured walls, the large double bed covered in beige sheets very much the focal point. There's a flat screen TV sat on a chest of drawers by the foot of his bed and a whole load of books on a shelf to the side of that. Dark red curtains fall from the window, and a door left open on the opposite side of the room reveals his rather shiny on-suite bathroom.

"Wow..." I take a few seconds to glance round the room, "This is great.."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"It's my favourite room, I like to keep it tidy."

"I can tell..!"

"I'll be right back, just going to go and get the phone." He says before wandering out of the room. I stare after him in amazement for a few seconds before refocusing my attentions on the room. What a gorgeous bedroom. Wish mine was as nice as this!

...

"So you like Pizza then?" I laugh as he picks up his fourth slice, grinning delectably as he takes a bite. We sit on his bed, a reasonable distance between us. "and I thought _I_ was fat..."

"Hey!" He swallows his mouthful. "I'm not fat."

"Look at all this though.." My hand reaches to his stomach, trying but failing to find any sort of fat on him, instead marvelling over the perfectly toned muscle I find there. "Practically obese."

A 'seriously unimpressed' face.

"Eat up." Picking up his slice I hold it to his mouth, he takes a bite and chews, glaring at me. Laughing is my natural response. "I'm only joking. You couldn't get any more perfect."

The laughter falls to silence. A few more chews and he swallows, eyes studying me. After a few seconds - _long_ seconds – of this scrutiny I busy myself by placing my plate on his bedside table, anything to break the growing tension, _sexual _tension that fills the room. _Why _can't I spend more than 10 minutes with Syed without wanting to rip his clothes off and fuck him senseless? Okay, stupid question, but it's _more_ than annoying. He must think I'm some sort of animal who can't keep it in his trousers! I can be a good guy, don't need to prove that by showing him how good in bed I am. I can wait. I'll have to wait... wait until l I can kiss my way down that gorgeous body, press my chest up against his chest, trace my tongue slowly over his stomach and down to his... oh fuck. Oh _fuck._

He must know what I'm thinking, sense my desire, because the next thing I know he's pulled me down on top of him, Pizza box with the remnants left unwanted on the floor. I can actually _feel_ the chemistry between us. Oh this isn't good, this isn't good at _all_. He stares at me for a few seconds, and then his lips are on mine, explorative and so fucking _delicious_ it takes all my strength not to fuck him there and then, and it takes my brain a while to twig what I'm actually doing.

"No... Syed we mustn't...we can't do this.. you said-"

"I don't care" He claims my mouth once more.

"You do.."

"No."

"Just , mm... Syed stop!"

And he does, staring up at me, eyes questioning and confused. How did this just happen...how did we get from harmless banter to practically eating each other's faces off? "Listen-" I stop, my trembling body noticing the deliciously hard warmth pressing against my own. He's hard for me, so deliciously hard..


	5. Chapter 5

I lay over him, gazing into his eyes with a million and one questions shooting through my over-stimulated brain. He stares back, his chocolate eyes so secretive, yet...I could swear there's a hint of mischief there. The only responsible part of my brain left is telling me to move, and I would, I _really_ would but I can't!

Warm hands are still on my back, slipped under the cotton of my shirt with no hint of them moving. Not that I _want_ them to move, but I really should get off of him. Like.. _really really_ should.

Or not.

Only when I feel the slight stroke of warm fingers at my back do I realise he's not scared. I look into his eyes and he looks content, even slightly amused... But shouldn't he be petrified? What is going on?

"Sy."

"Yes."

There it is, that glint again.

"What's-"

A sharp shrill ring of a phone breaks through my sentence and I'm left open-mouthed, presumably looking like an idiot. With a half attempt at holding in a laugh he reaches over to his bedside ta**ble. Only just about reaching far enough he **picks up the phone, pressing a button and holding it to his ear.

"Hello?"

I wait... and watch as his expression changes in a split second. He sits **bolt **upright, taking me with him.

"Hello! How are you?" he bites on his lip nervously. I wonder who it is? I make to move off his lap to give him some privacy, but he doesn't let me, locking me in place with a rather strong arm around my back. "Yeah.. right, okay... uhuh..."

With his dishevelled hair and kiss-swollen lips he looks simply to _die_ for. Edible. I could actually eat him.

His eyes widen suddenly, a look of complete shock on his face. "Oh that's fantastic news! Thank you so much! Yes of course. Okay, one second..." Leaning over to the side again he pulls open a draw and searches for a few seconds, pulling out a pen mere moments later and evidently looking around for paper that isn't there. Sitting back up again he looks at me for help, eyes wide and gorgeous. Without a second thought I hold my arm out to him. For a moment he looks confused, before understanding what I mean with a smile. "Okay, ready. Yep.." He takes my arm in his hand, not even _pretending_ he isn't admiring the muscle, and scribbles something down on my skin, a number below. It tickles, but the warmth of his skin on mine makes me forget about everything else. Lip between teeth I don't think seeing someone concentrate this hard will ever be as hot to me as he is right now.

"Okay, all done! Thank you again. Great, okay I'll see you on Monday!" Hanging up the phone he takes a few seconds to breathe before dropping it to the bed in shock.

"What was that?" I ask, trying but failing not to be nosy. From his exited little face I don't think he really cares..!

"I... I got the job!" he says, as if he doesn't quite believe it.

Oh brilliant!

"Hey! Well done you!"

"I can't believe it..."

"Oh Sy that's fantastic news. Congratulations." Taking his face in my hands I let my fingers slide through those thick waves. "Knew you would."

His face moves closer to mine, nose touching nose. I want to get back to where we just were, only moments ago. With a slight lean forward he presses his lips to mine, warm and inviting, still smiling away. Who am I to resist? Lips never parting I push him back onto the bed, hands resting either side of his head. Through the quiet moan into my mouth I know he is as lost as I am. We search, touch, explore, his tongue making a hot trail of desire over my burning lips. His shoulders tense and I can feel his heart beat fast. He's not new to this, there's no way.

Mind racing I try to distinguish some of the blurry thoughts making their way to the front of my brain. From the rubbish day he's had he obviously is in need of some comfort and reassurance - me - but he's made it pretty clear this isn't what he wants us to be doing... yet here he is with his... _fuck_... tongue down my throat! and the only thing I can do is run my hand up his side and slip it under his shirt. The warm silken skin feels so incredibly smooth under my fingertips... he tenses, breathing heavily into my mouth as his groin presses into mine... Stop it Christian, stop it stop it stop it.

"Sy..." I mumble, resting my forehead on his. This is too hard. Too bloody hard!

"I have a job." He says, eyes shining and grinning away. My stomach actually flips a little at this. Once over his mini-celebration he calms himself, taking a breath. "Sorry, serious discussion." And trying his best to pull an 'I must be serious' face I can't help but smile and bring a hand to touch cup the back of his neck.

"Don't be sorry. It's just... can we talk for a second?"

A nod of his head and I roll off him, settling down on my side. He mirrors me, face pressed in to a cream coloured pillow and hair resting in unruly waves over his, let's be honest, stunning face. I certainly wouldn't mind waking to _that_ every morning.

I actually wouldn't though.

The thought of me waking to him over and over isn't scary, the thought of me _not_ waking to him is!

This is going to be difficult. I love that he's just had such good news, it's clearly a huge weight off his shoulders and he's looking at me like I'm a bloody _God_ or something... but the need for discussion is becoming too great and as much as I'd rather not piss on his fire, things really must be said.

"I know what you're going to say so you might as well just say it." He says, taking me by surprise.

He does?

"Oh, okay... well," Sighing, I decide to just spit it out. It's inevitable this conversation is going to be awkward, but in any relationship truth is a main rule that must be followed, right...? "Have you ever slept with anyone before?" The question surprises even me and I regretfully wish I hadn't asked it...

Looking down he fiddles with the fabric of the duvet, smile fading, but not disappearing altogether. He's quiet for a long time, clearly working out the best way to tell me. I won't make this any harder for him then it already is, so placing a hand on his arm I offer him the little comfort I can. What if he has? What if he's in love with someone else and I'm about to be seriously crushed? No, no one else can have him. No one else _will_.

"When I was sixteen I met this guy..."

I look up when he starts talking, noting the beautiful features of his face scrunch up a little at the memory, like he's ashamed. "I'd had a crap day at school, I won't go into it, or we'll be here forever! but he was there for me, you know?"

I nod.

"Well he... he was only a few years older than me, and he started saying all these things..."

I take his hand in mine, squeezing gently. Please don't say what I think you're going to say..

"Oh, no.. it's not like that." Calm brown eyes meet with mine for reassurance. "He wasn't a creep or anything, I promise. It's just he was telling me how he'd been through the same thing, and we were talking for ages. He invited me back to his flat and we.." Holding his breath he looks at me, so bloody vulnerable. "It wasn't particularly nice, I didn't really _enjoy_ it. Everyone always went on about how good sex was meant to be, how much fun it was... I knew that I was different to the other boys, I'd known for a while, but when.. it happened.." his eyes fall shut.

I cut in, I can't help myself.

"He had sex with you and you were sixteen." I am not surprised by the anger in my own voice. I can hardly talk though, I think my first time was when I was fifteen with some older bloke, but that's me, and this is _him_.

Syed nods, wary of my sudden change in temper.

"He did that to you knowing _full well_ how vulnerable you were." Sick bastard!

"No, Christian it wasn't like that..." Resting a shaky hand on my arm he continues, "please don't be angry, it was my fault really."

"No. Don't you _dare_ say that."

The sudden overwhelming urge to protect him from something that has already happened takes over me, fury burning fire through my veins. How could anyone do that to him? It's a miracle he isn't completely fucked up!

Sad eyes peer up at me through long lashes, he has clearly never exposed himself to someone in this way.

"I'm sorry." I say, wrapping an arm around his back, rubbing in soothing circles. "You don't have to say any more." Ignoring me, he keeps talking.

"After that there were two others. One night stands." He clarifies. "I was older then, I think about nineteen and twenty. But it wasn't what I wanted, Christian. They were nice people, yeah, but I felt _nothing_. I wanted to be with them and _feel_. I've never been with someone I've actually _cared_ about, and that's why this is such a big thing for me." A sigh. "I want the next time to be something more, something that doesn't make me feel so horrible and... and _disgusting_ afterwards... does that make any sense?"

It makes perfect sense.

"Yeah. Yeah it really does."

"You've been so great so far, Christian, but what if, and I'm not saying that you _would_, but what if afterwards you get bored, want to leave and-"

"I won't."

He shakes his head.

"You don't know that."

"I do. And I _promise_.. I won't just leave you."

He doesn't believe me.

"Listen to me," My hand brushes the hair from his eyes, "I will _stop_ being so inappropriate, I will restrain myself, and I will wait until you are comfortable with it, okay? This isn't a big deal."

"You really don't mind sticking around with some idiot who doesn't speak to half his family, has a fear of commitment and can't even make _toast_ without burning it...?"

"Hey now, that's no way to describe me."

He laughs a little.

"I'm serious, Christian."

"So am I."

Brown eyes gaze into me, searching for the signs that I'm telling him the truth, and I let him find them.

"With you," he traces the line of my jaw with a finger, "it's already different from the others."

"Yeah? In what way?"

Stopping his fingers he shakes his head, a blush creeping up his neck.

"Nothing."

"Tell me." Moving my mouth to his ear I lower my voice, practically purring, "Please."

He shivers, fingers twisting into the cotton of my shirt momentarily before releasing. Yep, still got it.

"I want to..."

"Want to what?"

He rolls his eyes.

"Sleep with you."

"Well that's a good start!"

"Shut up."

I grin.

"Your wish is my command."

Running my thumb over his lips I move my head closer, pressing my mouth to his, slowly this time, not hurried or rushed. We have all the time in the world.

Relaxing, he shuffles closer, allowing himself to be enveloped in my arms. As we lay there I hold him, listening to the gentle thump of his heart as it speeds up and slows down in correlation to my tongue. I could lay here with him all day, all night and not want to stop. There's one thing for sure, he's a _damn_ good kisser, knows all the bloody tricks of the trade. He's a quick learner too, doing back to me what I do to him, teasing me just as much as I tease him, nipping my bottom lip between his teeth and sucking gently, so fucking gently...

...

Forever wrapped up in our kiss I don't even notice the time and how long we stay in this embrace. It could be mere minutes or hours later for all I know, but there's one more thing I need to ask.

"Can I ask you something?" I whisper into the warmth of his neck, his fingertips dancing delicately over the skin of my arms, answering only after his finger finishes drawing a little pattern.

"Yes."

"Am I... am I your boyfriend?" The words sound so strange coming from my mouth, so alien, and I feel like a complete and utter idiot, but his eyes meet mine with a smile and I know the answer.

"Do you want to be?"

A laugh.

"Well that's a silly question."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N – I'm sorry, forgive me please? I will try my ****best to update more frequently with **_**decent**_** chapters, but all I have to say is.. damn you GCSE's, damn you! Hope you enjoy. I love all your comments x **

"What do you mean you don't like chocolate?" He asks, astounded.

"I just don't like it that much..."

"You must like dark chocolate. Oh come on... no? _Really_?"

"Really."

With a disheartened sigh I hold the phone closer to my ear, already missing him.

"You have no idea what you're missing out on."

I hear him laugh on the other end of the line, imagining his smile.

"I tell you what," he starts, "I'll make you one of my chocolate cakes, and if you don't like it then I'll make you whatever you want."

"Well that sounds like a plan."

"Yeah?"

"Definitely."

There's a short silence in which we both know what's coming. God knows how long we've been on the phone for, but I know it's been longer than an hour.

"I should probably go," he says on a sigh, "got lot's to prepare for."

"Yeah... okay." I don't want him to. We've spent the past hour talking about anything and everything, all his likes, dislikes, all of mine. "Just remember what I told you and you'll be fine."

Laughing again he thinks back to the advice I gave him; _whenever someone talks to you flash them a smile, that'll get them weak at the knees. _

"Keep calm and carry on?"

"Always."

"I'll see you soon, yeah?"

"Promise. I'll phone you. Good luck."

"Thanks."

"See ya later."

"Bye.."

And with that, Syed's gone, the dull tone of a dead line left in his place.

...

"Christian!"

Out of nowhere arms have pulled me into a rather dramatic hug.

"Hello you." I pat Dave on the back in welcome.

"We wondered where you were!" Pulling back from me Dave gives me a welcoming smile flashing his green eyes, calling over his shoulder to Alex. "Darling, Christian's here!"

Making his way over with two beers Alex puts them on the table and wraps his arms around Dave from behind, both smiling like love sick puppies. God, I'd forgotten how sickening these two could be.

"Alright, Christian."

I smile at them.

"So how are you two? It's been a while!"

Wrong question. They smile at each other, Alex giving Dave a kiss. A bloody _long_ kiss.

"Alright, alright. Enough of that you two."

"Sorry, babe." Dave hands me my drink. "Here, sit down and tell us everything that's been going on. What fittys have you pulled since we last met?"

I sit down at the table, them on the opposite side only _just_ passing the 'acceptable positions to sit with your boyfriend in public' rule.

"Well..." I stare at my glass, not sure if I really want to tell them. I bloody well _know_ they're gonna rip the piss out of me. Gritting my teeth I prepare myself for the onslaught. "There's this bloke."

"Oh yeah? What's he like?"

"How does he rate on the 'Christian Clarke bed standards'?"

Oh god. Here I go.

"I haven't slept with him yet." I say casually, my glass finds its way into my hand and I take a sip, ignoring their stares. It's only when they've been silent for a painfully long time my eyes rest on them.

"You what?"

I shrug, not wanting them to make a big deal out of this.

"Is there something wrong with him?"

"Oh is he like... _mental_?" Alex pipes in.

I laugh, I can't _not_. God they're bloody ridiculous sometimes!

"No, you idiots! There's nothing _wrong_ with him. The complete opposite, in fact." Smiling, I picture his face as we lay on his bed, the way he stroked delicate fingers softly over my arm as I kissed him...

"Fuck."

The image disappears and I look up.

"What?"

They look at each other, a look I find rather irritating. "What? Guys tell me, what is it!"

"We wondered when this was going to happen." Dave says, eyes... excited?

"What's his name?" Alex asks, both blatantly ignoring my question.

"Syed."

"How old?"

"24."

"Looks?"

What is this, a bloody interview?

"Dark brown hair, a bit smaller than me - but not short, gorgeous brown eyes." I smile in spite of myself. Dammit.

"Christian's in love!"

"Shut _up_, D." Glaring at him, Alex gives him a thump.

"I'm _not_ in love. Don't be bloody ridiculous!"

That came out more aggressive then I meant...

"...Chill, Chris."

"Sorry. But I don't _do_ love, you _know_ me."

"Yeah, just like _I_ didn't 'do' love before I met this lump!" Dave says.

"Hey! I'm not a lump."

"A gorgeous lump. Better?"

"Much."

Smiling, Alex presses a kiss to Dave's neck.

"All I'm saying is... don't knock it before you try it, 'kay?"

"Whatever." The beer mat on the table suddenly becomes very entertaining to me as I trace my fingers over the lettering, refusing to meet their gaze.

"So have you been on a date or what?"

"Sort of two dates, yeah."

"And?"

"And nothing! We talked, got chips, kissed..."

"Aw that's ridiculously cute!"

I glare at Dave - deadly, apparently, as Alex tightens his grip round his waist as if to say 'don't you dare lay a hand on him'.

"Sorry..." he says.

Watching them now, I realise just how good they are together. I never really saw it before, mostly because I was so... Jealous? I don't know. But whatever it was, it's not there so much today. They're _not_ the most irritating people on the planet, they _don't_ make me want to reach for the bucket so much. I swear though, I'd never be that sickly sweet with my boyfriend in public. Or maybe with Syed I would... he's just so damn adorable, if I had my way I'd kiss him all day every day. He's a damn good kisser, too, I won't be forgetting that one in a while. Who'd have thought you could spend _hours_ kissing someone without it leading to sex? I'd do it again though, in a heartbeat. I miss him. I wonder what he's doing right now? Well it's 5:15 now, so he might be finished at work? I could call him...

"Can I ask something?" Dave puts his hand on my shoulder, bringing me back to my surroundings.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well, I don't mean to be nosy, but how come you haven't slept with him yet? Ow...! Don't pinch me, Al, I was just asking!"

I roll my eyes at them.

"It's kind of complicated." I tell them. "He wasn't treated right the first time, and he says he wants it to mean something rather than have a one night stand type-of-thing."

"So... the complete opposite to you, then?"

"Well no, actually. I'm fed up of having these meaningless nights with blokes who I never see again, and it feels like the right time to change all that, ya know? Start afresh and all that."

"Oh, my Christian's all grown up..." he holds his hands to his heart, pretending to wipe away a tear.

"Oi shut up, I'm opening up here!"

I kick him under the table, kicking Alex by mistake. "Oops... sorry!"

Dave starts laughing while Alex rubs his leg.

"Aw darling, want me to kiss it better?"

"Maybe later."

"Got it."

"Sorry, Al.." I say, holding back a laugh.

"It's alright, 'cos of you I'm now getting some action tonight." Winking at me, he laughs at Dave's face.

"Not anymore you ain't."

"Oh now how do I know _that's_ a lie..?"

My eyes flick between the two of them.

"Right.. well, I'm gonna leave you two love birds to it." Standing up I sip the remnants of my beer before setting it down on the table and grabbing my jacket.

"You leaving so soon?"

"Well I wanted to call Syed, we're meeting later..."

"Can't you just stay and have one more drink with us? Please please please? We promise after that we'll let you get back to your lover." Dave bats his lashes, making me laugh.

"Oh alright, you. _One_ more drink. But then I'm going!"

They both grin at me as I go up to the bar to order us some more drinks.

...

Walking down the road my brain can't help but think back to what the boys were saying. Did they really think it was that much of a big deal that I was now officially in a relationship with someone? Admittedly I can't even remember the last time I had a _boyfriend_, but that's different now. I've got Syed, who might actually be _the_ most attractive man on the planet.

Looking up my eyes rest on floppy brown hair, and a face that's scrunched up in concentration as he tries to text and walk simultaneously. He's probably texting me back, asking where we should meet... I stop walking and let him approach, almost bumping into me before I wrap my arms around his waist and capture his lips with mine, taking him by total surprise.

I know I shouldn't do this to him in public, but I literally can't resist.

Fingers weaving into thick locks I tilt his head back slightly, parting his lips with my own. He releases a satisfied sigh for my ears only, and I pull away before we both get too lost in the moment and forget where we are.

"Good day?" I ask with a smirk, releasing my grip from around his waist and taking his hand in mine, chuckling at his stunned silence.


	7. Chapter 7

"What happened to watching a film?" I mumble into his mouth, finger drawing lazy patterns at the nape of his neck as we lay on the length of the cream sofa.

"I don't know..." he says, licentious gaze causing my stomach to tighten.

I love seeing him like this; eyes lustful, lips kiss bruised, cheeks beautifully flushed. My hand cups around his face, thumb stroking at his slight stubble.

"Do you not want to watch it anymore?" I say, lips ghosting over the warm skin of his neck. Shivering deliciously next to me he shakes his head. "No? Then what do you suggest we do?"

"Not sure." He says with a shrug, all trace of innocence lost with the curve of his lip trapped under perfect white teeth.

"You working tomorrow?"

"No, why?" he looks suspicious of me, a slight frown on his flawless face... fucking sexy as hell.

"I just wondered if you wanted to stay over?" I ask, eyes carefully fixed on him.

"What... the whole night?"

"If you want."

Holding my breath, time seems to halt to a standstill as he looks at me and I patiently await his response. Deep brown eyes reach mine again, and my tongue edges out of my mouth to capture his lingering taste on my greedy lips. Was it too soon to ask? Oh I don't know... I'm fucking stupid. I just want him here with me, the whole night. Not fucking him the whole night, that's not what I meant. But what exactly does 'spending the night' suggest to him? Oh shit...

"I didn't mean like that!" The words spill out quickly, but honestly, and my face must be a bloody picture as the sofa we lay on starts to shake beneath us under his barely hidden laughter.

"Yeah, okay." Sy says once he finally regains control of his fits of giggles. What's so bloody funny?

"You will...?"

A roll of the eyes and his lips are on mine, tongue leisurely slipping in and out with so much skill I wonder where he possibly learnt it from. Arms reach around my back and gentle fingers play with the soft tufts of hair at the nape of my neck.

"Christian..?" he whispers into my mouth, teeth nibbling at my lower lip...

"Yeeeah?" I whisper back, in the same drawn out voice.

"I don't have a toothbrush."

"I've got a spare in the cupboard."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He captures my lips with his, this time a little more forcefully I think, or maybe I just imagine it... No, definitely more forcefully.

"Christian..?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't have spare clothes."

"Borrow mine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He's bloody loving this game. And he bloody loves teasing me! Does he even _know_ where his hand is right now?

"Christian..?"

"What now?" I laugh, and then groan as his hand wanders lower.

"... I want you."

This time he's not joking.. I'm barely conscious of anything but our lips gliding over each other, so fucking warm... Hands on my back, slipping under my shirt, fingers digging in tight...

"Sy..." I whisper, looking at the flushed skin of his neck. His eyes open and meet my gaze, his chest heaving as he takes in heavy breaths. There's something about this that feels different, totally different.

"I'll... get the film."

Releasing my body from his iron grasp I make it off the sofa – just about. Bloody hell he's pulling out all the stops tonight. Mind racing, I calmly – as calmly as is possible in this situation – tell myself that he's getting caught up in the heat of the moment. There's nothing I want less than for him to end up regretting it if something _did_ happen, which it won't; not until he's ready.

I almost laugh at the absurdity of it all... me, Christian Clarke waiting to have sex with someone. Not just waiting, _putting off_! Maybe there's something wrong with me, I don't know.

Kneeling by the DVD player I put in what we got from the store – some comedy thing, to be honest I don't think we really even looked at it. Well I didn't. I was too busy looking at his face like some loved up teenager. Jesus.

"Do you want pop corn?" I ask over my shoulder, not daring to look at him for risk of losing my loosely held control.

"Yeah, alright."

Getting up I move to go to the kitchen, but he's already there.

"Where is it?"

Moving around the kitchen he looks so comfortable, so at ease with himself. Eyes rest firmly on his body, his arms, the way they're perfectly toned and wrapped in gorgeous, golden skin. He really does have a nice body, nicest I've seen in a long time. He's not huge and muscley and ripped to perfection, but he doesn't have to be. With risk of sounding incredibly cliché... he's perfect just the way he is.

Sighing without meaning to, I notice his eyes staring at me. Crap did he ask me something?

"Sorry?"

"Pop corn..."

"Oh, top cupboard to the right."

He grabs it with a smile on his lips.

...

"You actually enjoying this?" Murmuring into his ear, stroking the hair from his eyes... we started off in a sensible no-touching distance, but somehow he ended up lying in front of me and I just sort of somehow ended up spooning him... damn it.

"...well, it's er... y' know..."

"Crap?"

Laughing he pushes himself back, hair brushing my face...

"A little."

Mm he smells good.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologise! It was both of us who chose the film."

"Well actually _you_ chose the film, I wasn't paying much attention."

"And why's that?"

Rolling his head back he looks at me, studying my face with careful eyes.

"Too busy looking somewhere else."

He grins, a beautiful, breathtaking grin and I can't help but kiss him – how could I not? With those big brown eyes practically pleading with me to kiss him, to stroke my tongue along his, to tickle that spot on his neck with my finger just the way he likes it...

Quietly panting next to me there's something in his eyes that change, as if something's finally snapped and he's lost all sense of control. Gripping his fingers tighter into the cotton of my shirt he closes his eyes, pressing his body flush against mine.

"Christian, please..."

There's no denying the pent up lust that's thick in his voice. I grip the cushion that's underneath his head tight with my hand.

"Sy you're making this so hard for me.." I tell him gently, all the while internally ripping in half. I swear this will be impossible to turn away from. I can't not have him, I bloody _need_ him, and not just because my cock needs it... _I _need it.

I feel him laugh next to me. Cheeky sod.

"I know." He says, brightly.

"It's not funny, alright!" I say, although can't help but laugh along with him. Well if he's joking then he's clearly comfortable... Opening my eyes to look at him the mood changes again, all too quickly. He's so fucking _gorgeous_ I just don't know what to do with myself.

Taking a deep breath he takes my hand in his and slowly drags it down over his chest, lower.. lower...

My fingers make quick work of the zip and button, removing that easy obstacle.

"Sy, are you sure you-"

But before I can finish he pushes my hand down underneath the denim of his jeans, my hand cupping his warmth and leaving him a trembling mess.

"Fuck.." he quietly curses, eyes closed. I want him so much, so much more than I've ever wanted anyone else.

My thumb strokes over the fabric of his boxers and along the rigid line of his cock. He arches in to my body, totally under my control. Removing my hand from his trousers he moans in helpless frustration, eyes snapping open to reveal the darkest shade of brown I've ever seen them.

"Come with me.." I murmur into kiss swollen lips, taking his hand and lifting him from the sofa. We turn off the TV and he laughs as I, in the stupid worked up state that I'm in, can't seem to find the right button on the remote. Well _he_ finds it hilarious and helps me before flinging the remote to the sofa and practically dragging me to the bed. When we reach it and he's stopped laughing I tell him to lie down, hands gently pushing his hips.

"Please?"

I stop momentarily, taken aback by his teasing tone as he stands there looking up at me...

"_Please_."

His eyes flash me a smile and he sits, pushing himself into the centre of the bed, his golden skin beautifully radiant next to the deep red sheets of my duvet. Standing still for a moment my eyes linger on his lithe body, watch the way he lays down, the way his eyes slowly drift shut, the way his chest moves up and down from deep breaths; it takes me all the strength I have to refrain myself from tearing off his clothes right there and then. I crawl up the bed until my body rests just above his, his lips a mere breath from mine.

Smiling eyes meet mine as they gaze down at the beautiful man below me, his features illuminated by the faint glow from the window.

"You sure about this?" I ask, hand resting on his hip. "Tell me now, Syed. I don't want to do this if you're not ready for it."

"I'm positive." He says with a smile, hands finding the bottom of my shirt by my waist. "D'you need this on?" He asks, eyes wide with feigned innocence. Laughing, I realise I haven't had this much fun whilst on the 'pre-sex' stage with _anyone_ before.

"S'pose not.."

"Just gets in the way really." And with a gentle tug he lifts the shirt up and over my head, the static causing my hair to misbehave and stick out in various different directions, but he tames it with gentle fingers.

"I mean it Sy, just tell me to stop and I-" lips on mine, teeth on lips... okay that's _one_ way to shut me up. If he's going to play this game, I might as well join him. "Well if my shirt is going I think yours will _definitely_ have to."

"You think?"

"Oh yeah."

I press a small kiss to the hollow of his cheek, running my lips over the delectable stubble. Fingers make work of the buttons of his shirt, and they slowly undo them, one by one. Warm, silky smooth skin is revealed to my hungry eyes inch by inch, a slight dusting of dark hairs covering his toned stomach.

"Mmm, you're beautiful, you know that?"

He rolls his eyes, not even for a second believing what I say.

"Hey..." I tilt his chin up with gentle fingers so he meets my gaze, "Syed I mean it, you're gorgeous." I stare into his eyes for as long as I can before I have to move them away, and instead focus on taking this god damn shirt off of him. He sits up and helps me with the last button, our fingers brushing as we undo it together, and let it slip effortlessly off his arms. Throwing it carelessly to the floor I lean back over him, pushing him back into the mattress. Our lips touch, warm and slow, tentative but sure. I feel his thumb rub gentle circles at the dip of my spine and slip into the back of my jeans. I press my groin closer to his, emitting a sensual moan from both of us. Fuck I can tell this is going to be good. I don't even know what it is we're going to do, but fuck... what he's doing right now with his tongue on my neck is probably enough to push me over the edge.

Fingers glide down his arms and over his sides and he laughs into my ear, squirming under the barely-there touch of my fingertips. I learnt that he was ticklish the other day when we were cooking dinner, I just stroked his neck in a 'I'm your boyfriend and I want to stroke your neck' kind of way and he went _crazy_. Well now of course I use it to my advantage. When I stop his entire body shivers underneath me and his fingers grip tight at my jeans. God I love him when he's turned on...

It's been pretty calm so far, no ripping or tearing at clothes, no rushed kisses or methods of quick relief... pretty different from what I'm used to, but he seems to be enjoying himself and _god_ so am I.

Short bursts of breath tickle at my ear and they get faster and faster, hips pressing harder into mine, hands gripping my shoulders, neck, hair... anywhere they can find.

I look at his flushed face, his soft pink lips, his gorgeous nose that I just want to press a million tiny kisses to... I need him before I bloody explode. Bare skin on skin feels amazing, his chest pressed against mine as we breathe together, sharing slow, sensual kisses; tongues playing, teasing.. teeth nipping, biting...

Before my breath can catch from our endless kisses he slips a hand into my jeans, rubbing me through the thin fabric of my boxers.

"Sy.."

"Yeah?"

Stop teasing... fuck just move a little to the right...

"I need.." breathless.. the words don't come out.

"What do you need, Christian?" nibbling on my ear he's doing a bloody good job of undoing me slowly, taking me apart bit by bit... taking _control_. I can't do this...

"Sy, please.." My voice is so desperate it sounds oddly unfamiliar to me. I need him, I actually _need_ him.

"On your back," he whispers in command, and my body obliges without a second thought, rolling onto the cool surface of the untouched duvet. Eyes closed I reach my arms to him as he climbs on top of me.

He takes his time getting acquainted with my body, spending a particular amount of time peppering kisses to the skin just above my waist line, fucking tease. But then he's up by my neck again and leaves me trembling, unashamed keens falling quick and fast from my parted lips.

My back arches impatiently, hips pressing up in a desperate bid for attention.

"Someone's needy." He murmurs, taking a painfully long time to kiss his way back down and unclasp my belt buckle.

What I had in my head about how our first time would go... well this is nothing like I imagined. It's strange and unfamiliar, I'm not in my usual place of authority, he's got as much control as I have, if not _more_. He seems so sure of himself, not the quiet unreserved boy I thought he'd be... A relaxed, warm gaze flicks up to meet mine as he continues with the kisses to my skin, making it burn like fire beneath the smooth, delicate lips.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N – Hello all, once again I apologise for the delay of this chapter, but I'm sure you can all understand the pressure of exams and work and all that fun stuff****! Exam period is nearly over though – woo! – and I plan to be writing a lot more soon. Also, I totally wrote most of this chapter before exams started, went to look for it the other night and it had pretty much disappeared? I tried my best but couldn't find it, so this is basically all re-written from scratch. Anyway, I hope you like it, and I adore every one of your comments, so thank you x**

Warm droplets of water fall from the shower head onto the sensitised skin of my back. It feels like hours I've been in here, carefully washing my body with the familiar honey scented soap, fingers running over hair, head leant back as the water splashes carelessly over my still smiling face.

Beautiful images flash on the inner lids of closed eyes; his face, nervous but so sure smiling up at me. His tongue nipping out here and there over secretly hidden skin, warm lips pressing delicate kisses all over my body, worshiping me like no other has ever done before. I remember with a smile the way he felt around me, the way his warm mouth wrapped around me with such patience, yet eagerness as my fingers tightened impossibly in the depths of his hair.

And then the feel of his skin beneath my lips, carefully nipping at the taught skin beneath my greedy gaze. Fingers working through tousled locks of his hair, running them down the smooth marble of his chest until they find their destination. Barely hidden moans filling the room, fingers clenched in ruffled sheets, knuckles turning desperately white as I take him all the way in, until the taste of him is forever imprinted in the back of my throat...

He looked gorgeous, felt gorgeous. Everything about him makes me greedy; I want him more now than I did before I'd even had him. Seeing him like that... it's something I won't forget. Don't _want_ to forget; not ever.

Warm hands brush my stomach and I'm brought back to the present, looking into the brown eyes gazing up at me. It was his idea, this – showering together. It's been a long time since I've showered with someone, especially after the first time, but this is different. Dark waves lay flat under the hot stream of water and I reach to brush some stubborn locks from his eyes. The stubble of his jaw drags lazily over my shoulder, the way he did earlier that emitted a low groan from deep within my throat. He's definitely a fast learner.

A warm soapy hand trails down my chest, and he follows the move of his fingertips with his gentle gaze. The way he looks at me, examines my body makes me feel incredible. His eyes hide nothing, he doesn't even _try_ to pretend he's not turned on right now. The golden glow of his skin radiates all the more against the white tiles of my bathroom and I place a hand at the dip of his back, resisting the urge to shove him against the tiles and have my wicked way with him.

We wash, me pouring the soapy liquid into his hand while he cleans my chest with caressing strokes, and then me doing the same for him. Every now and then he reaches out to touch my skin, almost as if he's showing himself I'm real, that this isn't a dream. In all honesty I wasn't expecting this, not at all. It's so... intimate. Nothing in the past has ever been like this.

Gazing into the depths of his eyes I take us away from the focus of streaming water, leaning back to press my skin against the cool tiles. He follows, pressing into my chest as he rests his head in the crook of my neck, soaking hair dripping over my heaving chest. He does this to me, makes me breathless in ways I never before imagined, the air I so easily breathe becoming harder to inhale with the constricting of my chest. It's uncomfortable, though I'd say far from unpleasant. It's as if I enjoy the feeling of that tight dip in my stomach almost as much as I enjoy running my fingers through his dark hair.

His entire body's covered with that dark hair, dusted all over his chest, his legs, his arms. That little trail pulling to a tempting v at his lower abdomen, calling me to lick it, bite it between my teeth. I remember the way he squirmed beneath me as I trailed just the tip of my tongue over every inch of his stomach, fingers clenching in my hair as I worked my way lower. Maybe he's sharing my thoughts, as he seems to grow warmer against me, face flushed as he gasps for air. The humidity of the shower's almost unbearable, but seeing his wet lips in front of me is too much of a temptation as I capture his mouth with mine, just for a second, before reaching out behind him to turn off the tap, the stream of water, and allow us some air to breathe.

...

"Where are your small towels?" Syed asks, wet hair flopped all over his face as he stands in the bathroom doorway in just his boxers and a blue top, looking a little nervous. I don't know why. He looks bloody good enough to eat.

"Just in the cupboard here," I point, but reach to get him one anyway. Unlike him, I chose not to get dressed, sporting only a loosely wrapped towel around my waist. Chucking the neatly folded towel carelessly in his direction I stretch out my arms, mouth opening on a yawn. I don't miss the way his eyes follow the tensing of my muscles. Mental note to self; Syed likes muscles. It's what got him so hot earlier, being able to touch and feel my muscles at his own leisure. He especially liked it when I tensed my arms, just for him.

"I've left you a toothbrush on the side when you need it, and just chuck the towel in the basket when you're done." Moving nearer to him I deliberately stand close to his body in the doorway, watching the way his throat contracts as he swallows. "Coffee?" I ask in my best husky voice, freshly minted breath washing over him.

A nod.

"Yeah, thanks."

Walking past him to the kitchen, a smirk plays on my lips. He comes across as the innocent, but _such_ a tiger in the bedroom. It's like... once he gets going he _really_ gets going. Always the quiet ones.

Though he's not like anyone I've ever had before. In fact, he's really quite different. Flicking the kettle on and grabbing two mugs from the shelf I look over to my unmade bed. I should probably change the sheets.

Halfway through putting the clean mattress cover on the bed and he walks out of the bathroom, hair a fluffy mess as he continues to rub it with the towel. Eyes look over to me, and a faint blush plays on his cheeks as he realises what I'm doing.

"Coffee's on the side." I nod in the direction of the kitchen.

"Thanks."

"You hungry at all? There's stuff in the fridge if you wanna raid it. Or bread on the counter. You know where the cutlery is." A smile, and he heads to the kitchen as I continue to make the bed. It smells like him. Even when the sheets are all freshly made I can still detect his scent in the air. It's warm, and a little sweet, but mostly musky. Not some shop brought cologne - I can tell when he wears that - and although it's never unpleasant I always, without a doubt, prefer his natural scent. And he seems to like mine. At least I think he does, as he always seems to inhale when he sticks his head in the dip of my neck and makes a funny 'mmm' sound. I don't think he knows he's doing it, and it's really quiet, but I hear him every time.

He's in the kitchen now, but I can't hear him moving. Turning around I find him close behind me, holding his steaming cup of coffee in his hands.

"No food?" I ask.

"Not really hungry."

"You sure?"

"Positive. Ow..!" Moving the mug from his lips he pulls a face.

"Sy, you okay?" Two steps and I'm in front of him, heart beating incredibly fast. "What happened, are you hurt?" The words splutter out stupidly and he just looks at me, almost amused, but winces again.

"I... I burnth my thongue." He says pulling a sad face, and I take the mug from his hands before it does any more damage and place it on the side, taking his face between my hands.

"Go 'aaaaah'" I instruct.

He frowns, then looks suitably unimpressed as I make a face, urging him to do as he's told.

"aaa" he rolls his eyes. The tip of his tongue is a much brighter red than the rest.

"You silly sod." I murmur, tilting his head into the light to get a better look. "Does it sting?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want some cold milk?"

"Milk?"

"Yeah, isn't that supposed to help with burns?"

"I thought that was just for spicy food..."

"Oh... no wait, that's yoghurt."

"And milk."

I laugh.

"So do you want any?"

"Yoghurt?"

"Milk."

"Nah, I'm okay thanks."

"You sure?"

He doesn't respond, instead making a face as if to say 'Christian, shut up'.

I realise I'm still holding his face, his partially damp hair brushing over my hands. My thumb starts to stoke his cheek, the stubble beneath it incredibly tempting to lick. Yes, lick. I want to lick his face all over.

"Do I have something on my face?" He asks, moving a hand to check, but as it rests on mine he stills, looking at me.

"No." I breathe, moving a little closer.

"Am I about to?" he says, at first surprising me but then making me laugh as he raises an eyebrow. He certainly knows how to catch me by surprise. And make me laugh. I like that.

...

"Comfy?" I ask, looking down at the ruffled, fluffy haired boy who's just managed to stop shuffling about under the duvet covers. At first it made me anxious, worrying that he was nervous and starting to regret everything, but the moment he settled down and turned to look up at me all that anxiety washed away within a second. His fluffy hair still a little damp from the shower leaves little patches of water on the pillow below his head and slightly on his shirt. I frown a little; why is he wearing clothes again?

"Sorry that I keep stealing all your shirts..." he says, biting on his lower lip.

"I think I can forgive you," I murmur, pressing a kiss to his cheek and stroking my fingers delicately over his arm. "You're still alright about staying, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Do you need to be up super early or anything?"

We could spend the day in bed tomorrow. I could get up early and make him breakfast in bed or something. Yeah, I'll do that. Surprise him. That'll be nice. Though I have to find out how he likes his eggs done first...

"Yeah I do... I..." his eyes give away he's thinking quickly, "I'm meeting my mum tomorrow for breakfast."

Oh. The disappointment isn't well hidden from my face.

"Okay.. how early's early?"

"Quite early. I mean I'll probably be gone before you even wake up, don't worry about it."

Don't worry about it? What?

"but... you will say goodbye, yeah?"

"Yeah."

I don't believe him.

"Look," sitting up slightly I continue, "Sy if you've got somewhere you need to be then you can tell me you know." I sound more pissed off than I actually am, I'm more worried than anything, worried at how quickly the mood has changed.

Brown eyes look at me, a slight frown above them.

"I told you, I need to meet my mum."

A few seconds of a staring match and I drop back down.

"Fine." I sigh.

"Fine."

We lay there in silence for a few minutes, listening to the quiet tick of the clock on my bedside table. It started off as uncomfortable, but as the minutes ticked by I slowly nudged my fingers against his palm, and we ended up loosely holding hands under the duvet, him stroking his thumb over my palm absent mindedly. It's only a couple of minutes later when Syed rolls his head to the side to face me and speaks.

"Christian..." any hint of annoyance in his voice is gone, instead replaced with slight worry.

"Yeah?"

"You don't... _mind_, do you?" he says quietly, lip nervously caught between a perfect set of teeth.

"Mind what?"

"That we didn't... never mind." He quickly cuts off, turning away from me. Well I'm having none of that.

"Hey," using my forefinger and thumb I tilt his chin to look up at me, "you can tell me, Sy. You can talk to me about anything, you know that don't you?"

I expect a nod in return, but instead he looks down, almost afraid to meet my gaze.

"You _can_ tell me anything, I will never ever judge you okay? I promise." In this moment when he's being so secretive – and I can tell he's keeping something from me, I just can – I will him to be honest with me. The thought of him not being able to talk to me about anything makes me annoyed. He's my boyfriend for god's sake. My boyfriend... I smile.

I still don't get a nod, but he looks up at me again, brown eyes burning with something I can't quite put my finger on.

"We didn't, you know..."

My head slowly nods up and down trying to get the gist what he's saying, but eventually results in me shaking my head. I didn't 'know'.

"You know... do it."

"Do it?"

He looks uncomfortable.

"Sleep together." He says quietly and immediately looks as though he regrets it, cringing at the sentence that's left hanging in the air.

"Well, by my calculations we appear to be 'sleeping together' tonight.." I joke. He doesn't laugh.

"You know what I mean."

"Does that bother you?" I ask eventually, eyebrow slightly raised.

"No..."

"Then it doesn't bother me."

"...really?"

"Really!" I almost laugh. "You think that because we didn't have _sex_ sex that I'm somewhat unsatisfied, is that it?"

The silence answers that question, and I can't help the chuckle that escapes my lips.

"You really are silly, you know that?"

A confused and somewhat offended expression plays on his features, only for me to kiss away the frown lines.

"Sy, what we did was... pretty amazing. I don't know about you but _I_ was certainly satisfied. You've got to stop worrying about everything, okay? You'll get frown lines." I add at the end, rubbing away the tense muscle between his brows with my thumb. "What makes you think _that_ part of sex is the be all and end all of it anyway?"

A frown.

"I... dunno, I just thought-"

"It's really not like that. Not for me, anyway." Well that's slight lie. It was like that before, when I used to pick up anything I could get my hands on, before _he_ came along. It isn't the case now. It didn't even occur to me before but.. I wasn't even _expecting_ to go there with him tonight. He made it perfectly clear he's not ready for that, and that's fine with me. If he's happy, I'm happy.

"If you're happy, I'm happy."

He smiles a little at this, and I'm glad of the relief that settles over him as he seems a lot more relaxed now, shuffling closer to me in the bed.

"I'm sorry," he starts, but I silence him.

"Shh..." Soft, warm lips meet mine halfway. "Let's just... lay here, okay?" I contemplate asking him to talk, but honestly we're both too tired for that. We will though, and soon. It's obvious there's a whole load of stuff going on in that head of his, and I need to work some of it out before we can go any further. Perhaps it's because I'm so tired that this is becoming a lot more confusing at the moment.

Nodding once, he settles into my embrace. I feel as the anxiety leaves him as his muscles visibly relax, and he exhales what seems to be a long held breath. This is what I wanted, just to hold him in my arms all night, forget about everything and just _be_ with him. It feels odd to me to be holding someone so close to me for what will be an entire night. I don't even remember the last time I did this. But I'm enjoying it. A lot. And not just because someone's here with me, but because _Syed's_ here with me.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N hello lovelies, very quickly – I know most of you know this, but for those who don't – I'm writing another AU story for Christian and Syed, but won't be posting it on here as, well, it's more an original story than AU. If you'd like to read it, send me a private message and I'll give you the link. Once again thank you all for your reviews, I love you all! Hope you enjoy x**

Light filters through half shut blinds and eyes squint under the unwelcome glare. Rolling, stretching and groaning – they typical way I start my day. Muscles stretch and bones click; my tired body objecting, yet needing the movement. Only this morning, where I would usually lay there in the limbo between dreams and consciousness, my body pulls up off the bed on impulse, eyes flying open and then shut again as the natural light of the day proves too much for them this soon after waking.

Blinking, yawning, and a bit more stretching does the trick, and letting my eyes adjust to the warmly lit room of my flat I notice a figure sat on the edge of my bed, turned around to watch me.

I reach out on instinct.

"Why are you all the way over there?" I moan, not understanding why I can't be cuddled up to him like I so want to be.

"Good morning." He says simply, not responding to my pathetic attempts to reach out and pull him back to me.

"What's the time?"

"6.20"

Falling back against my bed I let soft pillows envelope me in a warm embrace. Why would anyone in their right mind want to get up so damn early? And more to the point, why would anyone in their right mine want to leave the haven that is _my bed_? I didn't fork out all that money for nothing.

"Why are you up this soon, Syed?" I groan, rubbing my eyes with sleepy, not-used-to-functioning hands.

"I need to leave."

Eyes blink a few more times, getting used to the invasion of light.

"For this breakfast thing with your mum? No one has breakfast this early in the morning!" It's a joke, an honest joke but the way he turns and looks at me... shit, what did I say?

"I said I need to leave, okay? Stop asking all these bloody questions!"

Er... okay?

Sitting up again – this time much more awake – I let my gaze drag steadily over his face, studying him. He looks angry, brows creased in a frown, eyes scornful, fists slightly clenched in the dark red material of the duvet cover.

"Looks like you're not a morning person then." I mumble.

Big mistake. _Huge_.

"Look I'm sorry if I'm not quite what you expected in the mornings, but I told you that I was leaving early and that's what I'm doing!"

"Jesus Sy, calm down alright? It was just a joke..."

Well fat chance of that happening, I think my attempts of trying to calm the situation down is only making things worse. But honestly, have I done something? Last time I checked I'm pretty sure all I did was wake up.

He gets up off the bed, grabbing his watch from the bedside table and not even bothering to put it on, and moves over to grab his jacket of the edge of the chair.

Something pulls in my stomach, clenching and twisting. I don't like this, not at all. It makes me feel uneasy when I argue with people, especially when I have no idea what I've done wrong. Especially when I'm involved with the person. Especially when it's a person I actually like; a lot.

I get up out of bed – slightly chilly now as I'm dressed only in boxers, something I become acutely aware of – and make my way over to him as he roughly pushes his arms through the sleeve of his jacket. I'm glad I'm not that sleeve right now, it's surprising it's even still attached to the rest of the coat...

When he's finished the onslaught, a hand reaches out to him and gently clasps around his slight wrist. Turning him to look at me I find it hard not to smile – in fact I do smile – at the expression he wears on his face. I swear it's not even possible to frown that much. He frowns a lot, I have noticed that, but it's endearing, and incredibly sexy. I won't tell him this now, for fear of being hit in the face.

"Listen, I think we need to talk." I say, trying to get eye contact with him.

"About what."

"I think you know what."

He looks up, confused. Honestly, he looks like he has no idea what I'm talking about. No idea why he's so angry! So, he's pissed off for a reason that not only _I_ don't know about, but he doesn't know either? God this boy is confusing.

"You regret it don't you." This time I'm not smiling.

"Regret what?"

Does he really not understand anything I say?

"Last night."

"What about it?"

Oh my actual Jesus.

"It's okay, I get that you regret sleeping with me, alright?" My voice raises slightly on impulse, then lowers again , "I just want to know what I can do or say to make it better, 'cos right now I feel pretty bad, and I have no idea how to fix it..."

The confusion disappears from his face, but is replaced with a look of almost sadness.

"No... that's not it." He shakes his head, eyes fixed to the floor. "It's not you-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence with 'it's me'." Eyes glare at him, but soon soften.

He doesn't, in fact he doesn't say anything at all. The silence grows and becomes intrusive, something I absolutely hate.

"Sy... _talk_ to me." My fingers reach his chin, tilting his face up to look at me. I can't resist rubbing the slight stubble beneath my fingertips, so rough yet somehow smooth. And those dark pink lips, the ones that make mine feel so complete when pressed against them. "Please," I breathe, taking a careful step closer, "just tell me. I know you're feeling crap after last night, I mean you barely slept a wink last night and-"

"What?" He frowns again.

"Well you were tossing and turning all night." Which he was. _All_ night. He'd settle down if I stroked a hand up and down his back, but by the time I fell asleep again he'd start up and I didn't know what to do. I think he was having a bad dream. He'd curl up to me and calm a little, but the amount of times I got thumped in the chest was not even funny. I mean obviously it wasn't a deliberate hit, or a particularly hard hit, but it certainly got uncomfortable. At the time I assumed he just needed his sleeping space, I know I certainly do - last night proving a break in my usual habits, I often can't stand to be cuddled up to _anyone_ when I sleep, but I don't know... last night he was just _there_ and cosy, and comforting. Well, _bar_ the hitting and shuffling and sleep talking...

"What were you dreaming about?" I had to ask, I just had to. Wrong decision, again.

"Can you just leave it?" he snaps, pulling his hand out of my grasp.

"No, I want to know!"

"It's none of your business!"

"Well it is if it affects your mood, the way you talk to me!"

We stand, glaring each other out. His eyes, usually so soft and gentle are harsh, _bitter_...

"I've got to go."

Turning to walk out I grab his arm again, this time a lot more desperately.

"Please don't, let's sort this..."

"No, I need to leave." Tugging out of my grasp he's suddenly extremely strong.

"Syed please!"

My voice cracks, it bloody cracks! I feel like a total and utter idiot but you know what, I don't even care. What I do care about is that he's about to leave my place angry with me, and I don't want that. He's pissed off, but it's not only that... something about this doesn't sit right with me, doesn't feel right. If I'd done something in particular I could understand, let him stand there and yell at me for all he's worth but... I really can't see what I've done, and not only that, the fact that he refuses to talk to me about it speaks volumes. If we don't talk now, when will we?

"Let me go please." Spoken quietly, but loud enough for me to hear it. Syed's face says it all; he's leaving, and doesn't want to come back.

"Can't we just talk about this Sy?" My eyes reach his, trying desperately to get those golden brown orbs to see how sorry I am, how much I don't want him to leave like this.

It doesn't work.

Deep dark eyes look up at me, looking so damn _lost_ and there's nothing I can do to stop it... They're glazed over, as if he's about to cry but he holds it back, pushing me away with a gentle but firm hand. All I want to do is grab him in my arms, squeeze him so tight he can't breathe and keep him safe, but I can't. I bloody _can't_ and it's killing me.

"Call me later?" I whisper as he reaches the door, but he doesn't look back.


	10. Chapter 10

"Are you gonna tell me what's up or are you just going to sit there looking like you've been sucking on lemons all day?"

"Thanks, Rox."

"Oh come on babe," a soft hand reaches to mine across the table, giving what she must mean as a reassuring squeeze, "just tell me what's up. I hate seeing you like this."

Truth is, I don't exactly want to tell her 'what's up'. I don't want to tell anyone, this is the problem. It's none of their business. The fact that Syed's not spoken to me in five days, not answered my calls, ignored my texts, left me standing at his front door – perhaps a little drunk – late at night trying to get him to talk to me is _none_ of their business.

Jane told me to 'give him some space'. Pffth, yeah, and pigs might fly. I've never understood when people say that: give them some space. I gave him a whole two days space and no good seemed to come of it. Why would you rather sit there, over thinking everything in your head and getting worked up about it than actually _talk_ to the other person and sort things out? I don't understand it, never will.

"I'm fine, Rox."

"Oh well that's the biggest load of bollocks I've heard all week." Sitting back in her chair she carefully studies my face. "Is it this new bloke of yours?"

Okay, call me a bad friend but... I maybe haven't told her all about Syed yet. I was going to! But in my own time. The last thing I need right now is Roxy taking the absolute piss out of me. And she would, I know she would. It was bad enough having to tell Dave and Alex - though they did behave a lot better than I thought they were going to, and they have been supportive of me, in their own special way.

Honestly, there's not anyone I want to talk to about this. Well, the one person I would talk to is the very one I'm currently _not_ talking to, which some might say defeats the purpose. Bloody hell why won't he just call me!

"Ugh...!" with a defeated groan I lay my head on my hands which rest on the wooden table, hiding myself away from the rest of the world and all its utter shitness. There really is nothing more I want to do now than to curl up in a corner and hide myself away from everything. Why, _why_ are relationships so fucking complicated?

"Baaabe."

"_I hate my stupid life_!"

...

"Come on Christian, smiiile." Dave's face, too close to mine, tries to mimic the facial expression I'm apparently supposed to pull. I resist slapping him around the face and instead turn to Alex, who's pouring me my third glass of wine.

"David shut up."

Well that did it; the use of Dave's full name from his partner never fails to shut him up. It's a rare occurrence, and you know Alex is highly irritated when he resorts to that as his final 'stop it, now' command. Dave is always Dave, that is, when he's not acting like an idiot and making everyone within ten feet of him want to pull their own hair out.

"So he hasn't spoken to you _at all_? Not even a tiny little text?" Alex asks, as he passes me back my glass of red which I take gladly in my grasp, bringing the rim of the glass to my mouth and savouring the taste as the bitter sweet liquid pours down my throat. Fuck that's good.

"Not at all." It's bitter when I say it, and I'm aware that my voice is angry but I have less control over it now, the emotions becoming less and less concealed as the beginning effects of alcohol begin to take their toll. I can feel the tingling in my lips and the burn of my throat, both tell tale signs that if I carry on drinking like this I'll be drunk within 10 minutes.

"Give it a few more days." Alex says, giving me a sympathetic smile. "And if you still can't get through then I'll go round and kick his door down for you."

I smile.

"Thanks."

"Honestly though Chris, don't read too much into this. Syed isn't exactly your average boyfriend, is he?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well he isn't, is he? Don't forget all the crap he went through when he came out. And that guy who practically raped him."

"Don't." I say loudly, placing my hands over my face to try and block out that thought. I could kill that bastard.

"All I'm saying is, he might just need some time to get used to this. Didn't you say this was the first relationship he's ever been in? He's bound to freak out sometimes."

"He didn't freak out though." I sigh. "He looked at me as if... like he hated me or something." Again, my hands make their way over my face.

"Oh babes don't say that, he doesn't hate you." Dave says as he strokes my arm.

"Dave's right Chris, just give him a bit longer, yeah?"

I'm about to hit my head against the table for what will be the millionth time before my phone goes in my pocket. It's Jane.

...

It's starting to get dark by the time I make it to the cafe, the sun having set a few minutes before, sending the whole sky into a picturesque painting of navy with remnants of orange and red. Heart thumping loudly in my chest I try desperately to keep calm. The alcohol has worn off now and I have completely sobered, Jane's message having got me up and out the house quicker than anything. 'He's in the caf.' She said, and now here I am practically running through the market to get there. I have no idea what exactly will happen, or even if he's still there, sat in the corner with his hot chocolate as Jane told me he was.

Coming to a still in the middle of the road I look on to the building in front of me. Never before have I been so eager, yet so reluctant to enter a cafe before. The desperation that's been following me the past few days to see him still burns tightly in my chest, pulling and clenching and making it difficult to breathe. Yet that cloud of doubt resting over my head seems to make me want to turn and run. What a coward I am. But what will he say when he sees me? Will he look at me with that anger, that disgust in his eyes like he did the last time? Those brown eyes... those big, beautiful brown eyes that I could dive into; I don't want to see them hurting, not again.

Breathe. Breathe Christian, and face this like a man.

The first thing my eyes fall on as I enter is the tired face of my sister as she types something in to the till for a waiting customer. She briefly catches my eye and smiles, nodding her head to the side with wide eyes and a slight cough of the throat, indicating that indeed, the beautiful boy _is_ sat in the far corner of the room, hunched over an almost-empty mug of hot chocolate.

I watch on for what feels like hours, chest tightening more and more with each passing second. His hair ruffled, face slightly flushed from the chill outside, his gorgeous body clad in a slightly scruffy navy blue hoodie and jeans; possibly the most beautiful I've ever seen him.

Dark circles under his eyes tell me he's tired, as though he hasn't slept properly for days. Lifting his head slowly, as though he'd sensed he was being watched, his eyes find me. For the briefest of seconds my heart stops, waiting for his expression, his reaction... anything to tell me how he is feeling right now. If he's feeling as awful as I am.

"Hey," I mouth almost silently, as though the room was filled with noisy customers drinking their coffee. But it isn't, it is empty accept for us, a couple by the window and Jane behind the counter.

He doesn't respond, just keeps staring at me with those big eyes as if I had just walked in completely starkers or something. Current situation dispelled, I would have laughed.

I keep walking forwards until I am close, close enough to reach out and touch him.

"Can I sit?" I ask in a relatively clam voice, a hand pointed to the chair opposite him in question.

After a few, long seconds, he nods his head with a swallow.

The chair squeaks noisily as I pull it back, tearing through the neither uncomfortable nor awkward silence, just... quiet. As I sit opposite him I move the chair closer to the table, closer to him, and our legs touch for the briefest of moments. I can feel the stare of my sister's gaze on my back which proves to be slightly unnerving – I would do anything to be talking to him in the privacy of mine or his flat.

"Can we talk?" my voice is quiet, and under any other situation I would have called myself pathetic, but the fact that this is a make-or-break with Syed makes everything so much different. Laugh at me, call me a teenage girl, whatever. I'm getting this boy back no matter what.

"I... I think we should." A rough, yet gentle voice fills the air and it's a shock at just how much I've missed that sound, the glide of his velvety voice as he speaks to me the way no one else ever has.

Looking up to meet his gaze our eyes lock, and that tight feeling in my chest intensifies. My hand itches to reach out to his and take it, but I tell myself not to; now is not the time.

"Syed..."

"Christian..."

We speak at the same time, causing the corner of his mouth to lift in to the smallest of smiles.

"You first." I say, desperate for him to say something anything that I can make sense of.

He waits a few seconds, eyes fixed on the fingers that tap quietly on the top of the plastic table between us, clearly sorting out what he wants to say in his head. If his thoughts are anything as jumbled as mine, it will take him a sufficient amount of time to get them into some sort of coherent order. My exhausted brain wouldn't know where to start.

Head dropping slightly, his shoulders slump on a sigh.

"I'm sorry." He says, mouth poised as if he is going to continue, but the pained expression in his eyes tell me he has no idea how to. The brown eyes are lost, so completely lost.

"I'm sorry too." I say, scared that if the silence grows any longer he'll up and leave and we'll never get this sorted out.

"No..." A shake of the head. "This isn't your fault, Christian."

But I ignore him.

"Whatever it is that I've done I'm really sorry, just tell me what it is and I promise not to do it again." I try, but it seems to be the wrong thing to say.

"This is exactly it." Saying this to himself he shakes his head.

"What, what is 'exactly it'? Syed _tell_ me."

The frustration grows yet my voice remains calm. The burning feel of guilt, of unknowing sparks within my stomach. If I don't know what it is I've done I'll never be able to make things right!

"You don't _know, _this is the problem."

"So... it's not my fault, but it _is_ my fault because I don't 'know'..?" This time my voice is most definitely not calm. I give myself a mental shake; don't be an idiot.

"No, it's not your fault because I should never have expected you to know. You wouldn't understand even if I sat you down and told you every last thing about it, you're not in my faith and you never have been, so of course you won't know! It was stupid of me to ever think that you could in the first place."

He's angry too, but not at me, more at himself.

"Your faith?"

"_Yes_ my faith. My religion. Whatever it is you want to call it. It's _there_ Christian and it always will be, and there's nothing you can do to stop that!" He looks upset, furious with everything.

"Hey.." Leaning forward I take his face in my hand, ignoring the efforts he makes to flinch away. "Hey." I repeat again, thumb stroking at the soft skin of his cheek, urging him to calm down.

So _this_ is what it's about? His faith? Well it's not as if it didn't enter my mind, I mean he did mention it to me once, but I wouldn't be lying if I said I didn't really understand. Which is precisely the reason he's so upset in the first place...

"I'm sorry, really I am." I say, taking my hand away from his face, afraid that I'm being too up front.

"I didn't mean to run off like I did." He mumbles, looking up at me through the mischievous tufts of brown waves covering his eyes. "I just... I don't know."

"It's alright, I understand."

"Do you?"

"Well if you give me a chance to then I might surprise you." A small smile plays on my lips before dimming. "Don't rule this out Sy – us."

A pause.

"I don't really know what to do." He admits, playing with the handle of his mug.

"Well then let me help you." I say, reaching for his hand over the table and taking those delicate fingers in mine.

"I don't know if you can." Comes the quiet response.

I look at him from across the small table, the way his eyes gaze back at me, the way his hand fits in mine like it was _made_ to be there. I want him so much it scares me.

"I thought all this was because of the other night." I admit to him, the wave of guilt rushing over me. "I felt _awful_ Syed. I tried to call you to tell you I was sorry. I kept running my head over everything I'd done, if I was right to do what I did and then I thought..."

"What? What did you think?"

Heart pounding, I know that I need to tell him, to see if it really is as bad as I thought...

"That I reminded you of the others you'd slept with. That you didn't feel anything and I'd made you done the exact thing you didn't want to do." I close my eyes, in that moment hating myself for what he must think of me. But as my mind runs through all the things that disgust me about myself and what I've done, I feel the heat of a face close to mine, a forehead touch to mine before the press of warm lips against my waiting mouth.

"Don't..." he whispers against my lips, "don't think that."

My hands find their way to his face, holding him still as I take what I've desperately wanted to take for the past few days. The feel of his lips against mine, his breath as it hits my face. The taste of his mouth as it slides slowly over mine and the smell of his softly scented hair as it brushes my cheek. I love this feeling, but I care about him more. With a gentle push of a hand against his shoulder, I break away from him, heart pounding loudly in my chest.

"I don't want to give you up.." he whispers, a hand running through my hair and down my neck.

"You don't have to." The brush of his fingers down my neck cause my lips to shake.

"Help me, Christian." he asks, in a voice so helpless it breaks my heart. All this time people have been telling me to leave him alone, when what he's needed is someone _there_ for him. To help him through something so difficult it's been years and he still can't work it out.

"Sy.."

"Yeah?" he says, his face still close.

"Come back to mine?"

"Are you sure?"

I laugh.

"Don't be a daft idiot."

"Can I stay over?" He asks quietly.

"Only if you promise me we'll talk about this." I ask, looking into his eyes.

"Only if you promise to make me one of your coffees."

I smile as I lean forward to kiss his forehead.


End file.
